For this assignment I have asked my friend about his method to mask, manipulate, costume, adorn, or/and aggrandize the self.
This is how the conversation generally went:
So what method do you use to customize yourself. In other words be unique to be cool?
IF a person wants to BECOME cool then that person is not cool, but being naturally cool then that is being cool. I do not think about any methods or tool to become cool. I just buy whatever I want to be myself. I think that is cool.
Do you consider yourself as unique than other people around you? Like you want to be yourself.
I don't really care about other people. I just consider myself. and I consider myself from my own past.
When you buy clothes and decide your own hairstyle do you think that is being yourself?
I hope so. I don't want to show my image to other people. I just want to satisfy myself. If I choose a shirt to wear today, and it is a cheerful shirt then I will be happy that day.
Who considers that shirt as cheerful?
Myself. If other people say "Aww your shirt sucks" I dont care. I think "maybe you are not cool" Because he cares about it and that is not cool. I think that bvecoming better and being myself is the same thing. Right now I'm satisfied but there are times when i see better clothes and I will choose those clothes for myself and become better than who I was. I hope
Without these better clothes what would you do?
I don't have to compare myself with any other person. I will fit into any level. Like, if I don't have money I cannot buy better clothes. For example, This is only a shirt, and usually i wear it like this, but sometimes i roll up the sleeves up to here. Or up to here. I can make this shirt look different in many ways. So i can also make myself look different at different places.
Overall I did not really know how to approach this person without making him feel he had to defend himself. Through out this conversation I provided different examples that would make everything easier to understand. I was very direct and obvious of what I was looking for, and i think that caused him to back up a little. Therefore, I do not think I obtained complete honest answers from him.
I wanted to connect this to the term "cool" as much as possible. Because becoming cool is ultimately the main goal of using different methods to not be who we truly are. This connects to my previous post because it brings the same idea of dissatisfaction and discomfort a person has of himself/herself. This assignment simply discusses the different methods people use to fill the emptiness that resides within ourselves. Going back to the previous conversation. I think that the method my friend uses it to costume himself at and place and any time. Therefore he can "fit" into any group and still be himself. Although he claimed not to care about being cool, which suggest he considered himself and naturally cool, he is still "trying" to be someone he is not. What i mean by saying this is that a person who is often changing himself in order to fix something to fulfill his own expectations in not himself at all.
My friend often communicated not to care about what others thought if him. That he only cares about his own opinion. More than selfish I think this is defensive talking. I assume that he did not want to accept that he did care about what others thought of him therefore having this "unique image" is so important to him. Admitting this would make him seem Uncool. It is funny how much people protect and conserve their own image.
Part B
What methods do I use?
When I think about this question I cannot help thinking of how much time I dedicate into becoming better. I study Japanese for at least 45 hours a week, I practice piano everyday, I work on community projects every month, etc. I think that these are the methods I use to Aggrandize myself. Although I do not really know with what purpose I do it because I was taught that it is the best decision to make. Saying that I do this in order to succeed seems a bit hypocritical. I do it because I am constructing a good image of myself. With this image I can feel better about myself and my hard work and in society's terms, enjoy life. I do not think about fitting in into any group but actually outstanding it. It is mentally exhausting thinking in such way, and without mentioning a waste of time. I actually know that I am no better than anyone else and that no one is better then me.
Accepting that I am physically decaying is not an easy thing to do. I aggrandize myself not because i enjoy it but because It distracts me from the good things I am missing out in life. And it also distracts me from thinking that I am dying everyday and all the work I am doing is for nothing. Seeing it this way I cannot help of thinking how stupid my decisions actually are. Become cool for a short period of time seems to be more worth it than going out there and living life. However, will I stop?
At this moment I do not think so. Even though I do not want to do it I still have so much homework to do before school starts. And I also have to carry on with my responsibilities and promises. I don't really have time to stop.
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