HW 24- Short Story 1

"How many did it take to be like them"

I was surrounded by 6 or 7 guys. 3 of them were my friends and the others I didn't really know. We were in some alley at some time. I wasn't sure. It was my first time and I didn't even like it. My body and my mind were in complete different places trying to get back together but it was so loud. These guys were so loud. All the fucking time so loud. "Shut up" I managed to say. Then I heard them laughing. Damn it! I should've said no. "Isn't it sweet? Now you are on of us", my friend said to me before sitting down and putting his head down. We were feeling the same. Finally we were the same. I was feeling pretty bad though, but I was glad to feel in such way because it was the way to feel.

It was my second time, and this time we were in school. I did not feel like shit this time, it was actually pretty awesome. Everyone was looking at them AND me. The cheerleaders wanting to be with us and the nerds wanting to be like us. That was the way to be. The way I've always wanted to be. Then after school the usual through the nose.

The third time was actually my first time. And it was like her thirtieth time. I knew it because those guys around me told me their night adventures with her. Then I felt disgusted. My first time wasn't special anymore. Damn it! Damn it, I should've said no! But she continued and I continued. I didn't like it at all, but I answered "yes" when she asked me. Then I needed it once again, through the nose. Finally I was not with her. I was at....I can't recall.


My fourth time was terrifying. It was against one of the guys I didn't really know but always surrounded me. He pissed me off and I pissed him off enough to make him say "Today after school at the baseball field!" Everyone was looking at me with excitement. It was obvious that their encouraging words were so fake because they were so loud. So loud all the fucking time. I needed it, and this time really badly. I was so scared I wanted to run away, but they kept me here. And although they were just following me I could swear they were pushing me there. I kept resting it but I continued because I had so much to lose and because it was the thing to do. The first punch knocked me right to the ground. It hurt a lot but not as much as hearing them say "Uuuhh. C'mon get up!" or "Ouch... That must've hurt, haha!". This time I really needed it. Right through the nose like never before. Enough to truly knock me for days and days so I could forget about all this. Then right after I finally got up he punched me again back to the ground. Damn it! Damn it! Fuck! I should've said no! Then he continued to beat me and I continued to take it until I was out. And this time not from relieving myself but from being beaten to unconsciousness.

My fifth time wasn't as great as my second time. Everyone wasn't really looking at me and they weren't really approaching me like before. It has been a month and the bruises are almost gone. But I think they could still see them as clear as I did. The cheerleaders avoided me and the nerds ignored me, both saying to one another "he is actually a loser". Loser. Loser, over and over. I had lost way too much now. I was still surrounded by these guys though. The only thing that kept us together was what we did at school. I knew it had to be it because that was the way to get in and remain. It all began when tobacco wasn't enough anymore and when I didn't say no. And now I needed it after thinking I could always control it, now I really needed it. I needed to be surrounded or I would fall apart. It doesn't matter how bad I feel or how loud everyone is; I don't want you to look down upon me. Then I watched them, all of them, becoming more and more distant from me and one another. After that there was not really a sixth time, just a continuation of my fifth one. The one time I ended up failing. Damn it... I really should've said no...